Loving The Mess

Loving The Mess

I don’t know about you, but I find the concept of Valentine’s Day to be very stressful. Whether a person is with or without a partner on this most amorous of holidays, the commercial hype of the perfect expressions of love often leaves us a bit nerve wracked. If we don’t have a sweetheart we feel isolated and lonely, and if we do, we feel overwhelmed to meet societal standards. And by the way, stuff does not equal love. It’s all a bunch of poppycock.

So forget about all that nonsense and give YOURSELF something this Valentine’s Day
. . . the gift of self acceptance. After all, it’s true what they say , “To love others, we must first love ourselves.” To love ourselves is to accept the “the mess.” Faults and blemishes that are part and parcel of every human life. It’s hard, to say the least. So, here’s a handy acronym to help things along:



Let yourself release unhealthy feelings of regret, shame, and guilt. Ahhh, how these three buggers can beat us down. Give yourself pardon over things you no longer have control. Let it all go and put your best foot forward. Change is now, change is to come.



Own your faults, recognize them. We can’t fix a problem until it’s identified. Tell yourself, “Yes! I have faults! We all do! I am working to improve myself and though I cannot change the past I am working everyday to to make a better future. It is a process, and I’m doing my best!”



Gain victory over negative memories and thoughts by not allowing them to flood your mind. Ruminating on regrets and/or trauma can weigh us down like a lead balloon and prevent us from moving forward. We don’t have to ignore previous bad choices or experiences. We can face them, then leave them where they live . . . in the past! Then focus on something positive, things for which you are grateful, accomplishments you’ve made.



You are enough! Many of us can relate to the phrase, “We are our own worst critic.” Unfortunately when we don’t think well of ourselves and are unkind to ourselves, others will tend to follow suit. This can perpetuate and reinforce lack of self confidence and low self-esteem. To break the cycle we need to realize that regardless of our struggles, we are worthy of love, respect and acceptance!

Lack of self love is a common problem for those struggling with addiction. The caring professionals at Freedom Healthcare Services are here to help! We offer compassionate, individualized treatment, while seeking to encourage, educate, and empower.

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